Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Private vs. Public

I'm having to think about something I wasn't planning on. I hate that. I don't like being thrown curve balls. So I'm in bit of a dilemma right now.

Both kids have gone to the same private school since preschool. Daughter went all the way from preschool through middle school here. It was a bit of a strain financially but I always did what I had to do to keep her in the school. I thought it was for the best.

I thought by having her in the private school I was not only paying for a Christian school environment, a safe place but a good education. I thought that she would be well prepared for high school. Unfortunately, the education was not as good as I had hoped and I feel she was not where she should have been when she went into high school.

Buddy is in 3rd grade and I have started thinking about what I'll do when he's in middle school. Should I put him in public middle school? Should I keep him private? Should I move him 7th and 8th grade? Thoughts that were in the back of my mind but not pressing. He still has a few years.

Until I got a call from my friend whose son is one of Buddy's best friends. She and another one of our friends are moving their boys to public school next year. We talked for a long time and she expressed her fears, feelings and reasons (both ladies also have boys going into middle school) for making the move. This started me thinking... and re-evaluating everything. I have a list of pros and cons. I went to the school (happens to be right around the corner from our house) and picked up registration forms JUST IN CASE.


Pros
A California Distinguished School
Prepare him for future public schools (middle school/high school)
Cafeteria (right now he has to eat lunch on the black top)
After school program
Summer program
Not year round (do not have to worry about the extra weeks he is out of school)
He can make friends anywhere
The school has a great reputation
Will be moving with two of his best friends
Same school schedule as Daughter
Playground and Grass (there is no grass for the kids to run around on at his current school)
Will be able to save more for his college (tuition is around $5,000/year)



Cons
Leaving the Christian school environment
Leaving many friends
Leaving a controlled environment
Outside influences
Good teachers/staff at his present school

So many thoughts are going through my mind right now. I want to do what is right and what will be the best for him.

8 comments:

saraphin said...

aghh missy i saw private vs. public and i thought you were shutting down your blog!

i know you have a difficult decision to make, but as a teacher, the california distinguished school does mean quite a bit. even more if it's a blue ribbon. they do quite a bit to make sure us teachers are working up to par. good luck with your decision!

Anonymous said...

In every school, you really have to do a lot of leg work in order to make sure your kid is getting the best education. California distinguished is supposed to be a good label, but know that schools know what they have to do to get the label, and it's not always the proper way.

Maybe you can visit the public school and sit in on a couple of classes to get a sense of the school culture. I'd wait until after testing though, as it is craziness here right now.

dapotato said...

i thought i'd add a few more pros/cons from personal experience. i went to private, christian schools from k-high school.

pros of private school:
- small class sizes
- attention/care from teachers
- if your kids are college-bound, this applies. because the academics weren't quite as challenging and a lot less competitive than my private school would have been, i graduated within the top handful of my class and was able to get into some really great colleges.

cons of private school:
- despite it being "christian," there are a lot of not-so-good things that go on at any school, no matter what type. for example, my school was known for its potheads. wonderful association, i know.
- teachers don't have to be credentialed. as a result, the quality of teaching and academics sometimes suffer, even if the teachers are a bit more personable. when i was a senior, some of my teachers were FRESH out of undergrad at 21 or 22, only being a few years older than us. they had a hard time getting respect a lot of times and really had no idea how to teach.
- i was less "well-networked" and a bit socially retarded (partially due to my personality, though) until late in high school due to never fitting in with the very limited/smaller number of peers i had access to through school. luckily, i had outside of friends from church, family friends, and a few extracurriculars, but it was very lonely as i never had any real close friends until late my freshman year of high school. my friends that went to public school seemed to know tons of people and still carved out their close group of friends within a wide circle of acquaintances.

my mom ended up sending my brother to a prestigious just private, college-prep (not parochial) high school. the quality of the education he got was much better than mine, and despite the more competitive environment, he was able to do well and get into great colleges as well.

sorry, i'm probably just confusing you more. good luck with this decision. i am so glad i don't have to make it for awhile, if ever. ;)

dapotato said...

sorry, the third point under pros should read "than my public school would have been." i lived in a district with a HUGE and very competitive high school.

Winnie said...

Sheesh, that dapotato person sure talks a lot :)

I went to a large, (somewhat) competitive high school. My graduating class alone had 800 people. I guess the good thing about having so many people is the variety of extracurricular activities available for the students. It was easy to be just a number though when there were that many people. Personally I don't know if I would have gotten a better education in a private school as I didn't care much about school back then . . . nor did I care about college . . . Hmph. I'm just rambling on and on now.

With Love ~ csunsweetie said...

Do you know how all the talks of budget cuts will affect the public school? Our HS's and Jr High's around me have really been hit with questions from the parents to know how their children will be impacted (especially since about 95% of the schools around here are public.)

I went to a catholic school up to 8th grade with pretty much the same 30 kids. For HS we moved and I went to a public school that had about 600 kids in my grade. It was quite different and it did take some getting used to. Plus, I felt like I "missed out" with all the pre-made groups of friends from the public jr high's. If he can get with his best buds early, and enjoy the larger class overall, it might be a better transition for HS and college.

10yearstogether said...

I don't have children so I've never given this issue serious or any thought really. I just wanted to wish you luck because you seem like you're having a hard time with the decision. I think with a mom like you, he can't go wrong either way you choose...

venn said...

I'm late on this, but wanted to add my two cents. I went to a small, private, Christian school K-5. My parents went through many of the same issues you are facing when they chose to have me attend this school rather than the local elementary school (which was a very good school). For financial reasons, I had to move to the public school when I hit the 6th grade.

I was a VERY shy child and the transition was really hard for me. I had been with the same group of kids for 6 years and knew no one at the new school. That said, I'm glad my parents moved me when they did. Transitioning at a later age may have been much harder. Middle school and high school is hard enough without having to start over and make new friends. Eventually, I made several good friends and was fine. Public school culture is very different from private school culture (IMO), and having that year to adjust before the 7th grade was really beneficial for me.

If a few of Buddy's friends are going to the same public school, it might make the transition easier for him than it would be later. Now, I know your daughter went through the same thing in high school and she seems to have turned out beautifully. I agree with 10years, whatever you choose, it will turn out great b/c Buddy is loved and supported by such an awesome family.

Schools are important, but what goes on at home matters so much more. :)